The Dinner
Or "But I don't want to be a cowboy!"
So I was out getting a Chicken mayo sarnie for my dinner, when there was a woman randomly rifling through all the butties and puddings. When all of a sudden there was a "SPLAT!" The lady immediately looked up at the staff and said
"That just fell off and the lid came off." Trying to look innocent.
Yeah lady. Like that was anyone else. There was only you stood in front of the fridge fingering the puddings. I mean your excuse was poor. You would of been better owning up to it and just paying for the pudding. You never know they may of let you off, like they did.
But you cant blame the "mysertious air" for knocking it off. Your not 6 anymore.
Although it did make moi smile thinking "I can't believe this lady is actually trying to get away with THAT lie. Her IQ tests must be negative."
Its a lot wider then mine
I have found some very interesting links in my years on the interweb. But none as unbelievable as, the biggest page on the internet.
It is 9 quadrillion pixels wide by 9 quadrillion pixels tall. Thus it contains a large number of pixels, 8.1 nonillion to be exactly. The repeating background image on the page shows stars. There are 5.4e28 stars on it, about as many as there would be if our universe was multiplied to a million times it's current observable size.
Futhermore, at 77 pixels to the inch, the page takes up 3.4e18 square miles and is 1.844 billion miles on a side. That's about 17 billion times the surface area of the Earth. Which is roughly the distance from the Sun to Saturn.
Now many of you will try and scroll across to see around. But to see the sheer size of this page just try and use your arrow keys, or even 'page down' and see how the scroll bar doesn't move at all. Trying to move the scroll bar by ONE PIXEL will take 7 times longer then your life span.
Anyone got a ruler?
The worrying
Or "And you all thought something was going to go wrong."
Well it seems all is fine for this weekend. I've been told that the tickets are on there way to me as of yesterday, Im just waiting for an email with teh tracking number on. I should have the tickets for when I get home, that's if the really lazy housemate who is impossible to wake is up and signs for the tickets. Otherwise I can collect them tomorrow morning.
Zoolady has found some wellies for the concert. Or I've found a collection of wellies for her to select her favourite pair.
Although, I'd like it veryone kind of tried to persuade her that wearing cowboy/cowgirl boots would be a far better idea and much cooler. Plus the cowgirl boots are like £2 more then the wellies.
But we know where some pink wellies are.
The times of all the acts have been announced:
-Gnarls Barkley is on at 1640 for 50 minutes. Will be good to see what they have up there sleeves, other then 'Crazy.'
-Pharrell is on at 1810 for 50 minutes. I'm sure Zoolady will want to go see if he is dancing around half naked...plus it would be nice to see if he has any dancers there too....only joking Zoolady.
-Goldfrapp will be missed. This is due to a clash with,
-DJ Shadow being on at 1945 for an hour. This will be the best hour of the show I reckon. Will be mint! Before ending with
-Massive Attack at 2100 for an hour and a half set. This will be packed. The last set, no clashes, the headliners, everyone coming together!! Can you feel the luuuurve! 
Yessssss
Having seen Massive Attack already at Creamfields I know they do well at festivals. So will be another pleasure to see them. It will be nice to see everyone stay till the end this time, instead of walking off after 'Unfinished Sympathy,' which I felt was very harsh.
But the big guy, the one I'm looking forward to most will be Shadow. Will be good to finally see him live.
Also, I can't get on to google. How weird is that. They've banned moi! 
The Cockup
Or "Well Lucy, you let the cat out the bag."
I guess I deserve in one respect. I mean using eBay to buy ticket for a festival. Of course things will fuck up. I remember in my last job having to answer questions about missing concert tickets as those missing tickets had already been sold on.
What was I thinking you may ask? Well the tickets were selling for a quarter of there face value. Bargain!
Well of course good things all ways seem to go sour when you most expect them. An email from the seller yesterday informed moi that the company supplying his tickets had sent him the wrong ones. Meaning he has to return them to get the correct ones, then send them on to moi. The festival being this Saturday leaves very very limited time. Of course it goes without saying I will be re-imbursed the cost of the tickets if they don't arrive in time.
So what does one do in situations like this? Well one scowers eBay for more sellers who are willing to sell below face value and don't mind having moi pick up the tickets.
One such back up has been found, but will there still be ticket's availble on Saturday?
Now what has got moi thinking is what if these tickets aren't available on Saturday? I'd have to buy full face value tickets.
So my option is to maybe buy a second pair of tickets at less then half price. My thoughts are, face value tickets cost £37, the pair is £74. I've paid £24 for the first pair of tickets. Now I might be able to get a second pair for about £30, maybe. Which is still lower then the face value.
If the first pair of tickets dont arrive in time, excellent, I get a refund.
If they do arrive, I'm out of pocket £30 and have 2 extra tickets that I might/not be able to get rid of.
Do I buy the spare tickets and hope the others don't arrive? Do I wait and see if the first pair arrive and if not hope the back up pair havent been sold? Dilema.
Would it be wrong of moi to tell the first guy it's all off and go to the second guy?
The latest time the tickets can be sent to me is tomorrow morning to get guaranteed next day delievery. Should I wait till then?
Any advice?
PS as there is no sound on works PC's, can someone tell moi what this is about...
Things to do to kill time.
I've been thinking of thins to do to kill time during work. The best so far is looking at some info on my home town.
As you all know Im originally from Runcorn. And despite having left there earlier this year Runcorn will always be "my home" and love it dearly. But there is quite a lot that I didnt know about Runcorn, so here is what I've found out.
Things I already knew;
-The "Bus Way" was the first of it's kind in the UK.
-The show "Two Pints of Larger and a Packet of Crisp" is based there.
-The Runcon Bridge is one of the largest of it's kind in the UK.
-The first reported alien abduction was at Runcorn.
-It is a hotspot of UFO activity (I'm sure I've seen a few UFO's on clear nights)
-Runcorn is over ran by chav's, or "scallies."
-It has the brightest nickname of any town, 'Sunny Runny.' Doesn't it just dazzle you? (Thanks to Adie for that one! Word)
Some stuff I didn't know;
-Runcorn comes from the Saxon "Rumcofan" which means wide bay or creek.
-Old maps show Runcorn as being called Wronkhorne, although I don't know where this comes from.
-The first metion ofRuncorn, or Wronkhorne, is in AD915. Pretty early.
-It wasn't mentioned in the Doomsday book.
-This could be thanks to William the Conqueror, having harried it to worthlessness. Cheers Bill!
-The Runcorn bridge is in fact the largest of it's kind in the UK. And takes 2 and a half minutes to cross. You should try walking it. It can be something else on a windy day.
-It is one of the most industrial parts of the UK.
-The shopping centre was the first indoor shopping plaza in Europe. You think something like this theyed make a shout about. But nope.
-There is a second BBC series set in Runcorn, "Drop Dead Gorgeous." Which, despite what the title suggest's is not about moi!
But here is a little more about my favourite fact, James Cook. Abductee, Freedom Fighter and Founder....
James Cooke claimed he was hijacked by aliens in a flying saucer from Runcorn Hill in September 1957. Cooke claimed that he was invited by a voice into a 12 feet flying saucer that took him in a larger hangar where he was met by beautiful hermaphrodite extraterrestrials who let him visit homeworld, Zomdic, a planet orbiting a star light years away from our own solar system. On this planet, he said, the ground transportation system is operated by "manipulation of musical vibration", and no money is used as the resident of Zomdic "have long ago discovered how to transform energy to matter."
He met the master of planet Zomdic who told him "the inhabitant of your planet will upset the balance if they persist in using force instead of harmony. Warn them of the danger." Cook replied "they won't listen to me" and the master replied "or anybody else either". He was returned home 45 hours later.
After a later contact, this time on Frodsham Hill, James set up the Church of Aquarius in the town. It became so popular that a second "church" was opened. Here, James "channeled" information from the elders of Zomdic. The church ran for 10 years before James disappeared from public view in 1969.
And my 'quest for knowledge' started from this, Wikimapia.
What do you know about your home town?
You've been Tango'd
For Sammy, because I know you will like this. Enjoy!
If you click here, it takes you to google where you can download it.
The Week
Or "Are monkeys evil?"
So Zoolady met my mum this weekend. From speaking with Zoolady on the Friday she seemed to be a little nervous building up to it. I could understand why she would be nervous. But I knew she had nothing to worry about as I knew that they would both like each other.
Before we met up with mum, moi and Zoolady done a bit of culturing. No this is nothing like wiping germs and bacteria on petri dishes, but instead we picked up a book on the a European city that we're flying to later this year and also headed over to the Leeds gallery.
Now the gallery was nice. It wasnt huge. In fact compared to any of the Tate's it's very small. There were some very strange pictures, including one of a giant plain red canvas, with a square of green and bit of blue on it too. No description was given as to what the art work was about. But we suspected that the artists was given a big wad of cash and decided that maybe the gallery should next time give the cash to us and we can make them a silly painting.
Although there was some highlights to the gallery, the most notable were a 6' high statue made of tiny little bricks. And also in the same room as the statue was some pen and paper so people could write about the works of art in that room. Reading all the stories and seeing the drawings that all the youngster's had made was cute. This little folder with scraps of art and writings in was a lot better then some of the art that was in the gallery.
After meeting mum and heading back to my house, Zoolady and mum seemed to get on really well and chatted while I washed, dried and hung my mountains of washing.
We headed to a nice pub that served tasty food at a very cheap price. I think Ill be heading back there again next time the footy is on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.
Although Zoolady was distracted all the way through the meal by the tiny black yappy puppy - I think it Zoolady said it was a labrador, that had a fetching yellow scarf/handkercheif around it's neck, making it look like John Waynes dog.
The whole mum-meeting-Zoolady thing went as well as I had wanted. Zoolady was feeling a lot less nervous afterwards. So much in fact that she has agreed to come to visit the whole of my family for my nans' birthday in a few months.
Zoolady might not be nervous about that, but I am a little.
The rest of the weekend went rather too fast, eating spicey food and discussing clothing options for next weekends Wireless gig.
But it's good to know my mum likes somebody who makes moi very happy! Yesssss!
Some other stuff ...
Here is a new website for you to all try.
Long Awkward Pose
"It's simple, really. People look foolish when posing for a picture. So tell your loved ones you would like to take their photo... then secretly videotape them the whole time"
I expect to see some good videos on there from you guys! And remember, the longer the better!!!
Are you bored of reading this blog,...or ven possibly others? Then why not try talkr! Talkr changes any rss feed text blog in to audio so you can whack it on your ipod. Although there doesnt seem to be any feature to karaoke comments on there, or as I like to call it commentoke!
Not too unlike the stance of the mini brick man above, you can fool around with this guy. Why? I don't know.