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Ok, today I was bored and decided to read some junk mail I got, hereinafter this junk mail will be referred to as my Junk Mail. This is my very first piece of Junk Mail about a dead relative wanting to give me money. I'm quite pleased I finally got this piece of Junk Mail. Anyone any good ideas how to reply to the Junk Mail let me know.
Read my very first Junk Mail
" Attention please! Strictly confidential.
Greetings,
With all due respect. This is not to cause you any embarrassment since I have not made any previous corrrespondence with you.
I am Mr. Charles Brown, a Solicitor at Law and the personal attorney to late Mr. Mark Michelle, a French national who was until his death a private oil contractor/consultant with the Shell Petroleum Development Company in Saudi Arabia, hereinafter shall be referred to as my Client.
On the 21st day of April, 2002, My Client and his wife along with their three children were involved in a ghastly motor accident, all occupants in the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then, I have made several enquiries through his country's Embassy to locate any of his extended relatives but to no avail.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you with this business partnership proposal. I am contacting you to assist me in repatriating a huge sum of money left behind by my Client, before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the finance/security house where this huge deposit was lodged.
The deceased(my Client) had a deposit valued presently at $12,000,000(Twelve Million United States Dollars) and The Finance Company has issued me a notice as his attorney to provide his Next of Kin or Beneficiary by Will otherwise have The Account confiscated within the next ninety working days.
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives of my Client for over 2 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the Next of Kin / Beneficiary so that the proceed of this account valued $12,000,000(Twelve Million United States Dollars) can be paid to you.
At the end of the transfer, I will compensate you with 30% of the total sum, 65% will be for me, while the remaining 5% have been mapped-out for miscellaneous expenses that might be incurred during the course of this transaction.
I have all the necessary Legal documents to back-up any claim we might make. I guarantee you that the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. It is likely to be completed within ten working days.
Please treat this transaction with top priority and utmost confidentiality considering its nature as you might have read from this proposal.
I await for your prompt response.
Best regards,
Mr. Charles Brown
NB: In the event you are not willing to assist kindly inform me so that I can seek assistance from another contact."
Follow up:
As per the request of Seniór Russ and Sensei, I've just sent this;
Dear Mr C Brown,
I have just read the intriguing email you sent to me, regarding the unfortunate death of your client, Mr. Mark Michelle.
I am not quite sure how you got my details, but I am glad that you have contacted me. It would be such a waste if this poor fellow’s millions were confiscated by the bank, when the money could be put to much better use by you and I.
I am certainly interested in helping you out with this scheme of yours. However, before we go any further, you must assure me that we will not be doing anything illegal: as a parish councillor and long-established family butcher of renown, I have my reputation to consider.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Rob Sherman
And it continues.
Dear Mr. Rob Sherman,
Thanks for your prompt response. This is not a hoax
and it is a very legal business. My present contact
with you is quite confidential, since there is the
need to involve someone with a foreign status. With
all intent and purposes,I myself do not wish anybody
to know that I am directly involved based on the
relationship I had with my Late Client. Sure,I have to
do this business, if not the corrupt officers in the
Bank will lay their hands on this money.
The part I want you to play in this business is to
provide me with an avenue through which this money
could be trasferred to your country, by way of
establishing you as the Next of Kin/ Beneficiary to
Mr. Mark Michelle( My Late Client). This I can do
within a very short time since I was the Attorney to
this man before his death.
Following your positive response and willingness to
assist me, at first I will like to give you a brief
introduction of whom you are dealing with.
I am a 56 year old Legal Practitioner, which I have
practised for over twenty years now. My wife's name is
Alicia and we have three teenagers, Eric, Joshua
and Suhkedo.
I hope you are a business minded person as I do not
wish to deal with a joker. Please tell me a little
more about yourself, so that I will know exactly who I
am dealing with. I personally decided to do this to
pre-empt the corrupt officials of Central Bank from
laying their hands on this funds for their selfish
purposes and for me to help the needy and the less
privilege in the society.
However, having been in the Legal profession for more
than two decades now, I want you to have in mind that
I intend using only the legitimate procedures in line
with the inheritance laws to move this money out of
this country in your name as the beneficiary.
With this approach, the receiving bank(your bank)will
not question or suspect the source of the
inheritance(funds) on the ground of money laundry,
since the money transfer paper work will legally cover
the sources of the inheritance.
My dear, you will agree with me that it is very
unprofessional to discuss a business of this magnitude
only over an email medium. I therefore requested
that you furnish me with your private telephone number
for a heart to heart discussion. At that time, I will
provide you with all relevant information and
clarification you may wish to know for the way
forward.
I look forward speaking with you upon provision of
your contact number. Though, I will appreciate your
effort if you can get back to me as soon as you
receive this mail via these numbers.
+234 423 028 93 (Residence)
+234 8033 852 027(Mobile Phone)
+234 8043 423 119(Chambers Phone)
Talk to you soon.
Charles
Look at the nice photo
Dear Mr.Rob Sherman,
As a follow up to my first email message of today, I
suggest/propose that if it is desired that this
significant matter be properly transacted,then there
needs to be open and frank discussions on the details
and projected schedule.
Therefore, we need to plan together on how to proceed,
and then work together to achieve success. I desire to
know your decision on this matter before hand, so that
I can fully prepared and fulfill my responsibilities
in a timely manner.
I also believe that a written plan and schedule is
essential so that there will be no misunderstanding
and/or confusion.
Thus, the use of this medium, e-mail exchange, is
vital in setting up the plan and schedule. Then,
speaking on the Telephone is very important for
introductions and initial contact, including planning
and other dialogue to avoid any misunderstanding/
mistake on our side.
It is my belief that you oyght to reciprocate the
trust and confidence I feel to repose in you at this
very moment.
In this direction, I am purposely sending you the
attached files in good faith, believing that your word
is something to be trusted.
The attached files comprise of page 1 & 2 of my
Passport and Business card. It serves as a formal
identification to enable you have a better idea of
whom you are dealing with.
I will appreciate if you can reciprocate such step by
sending me yours. I urge you to keep/handle those
files privately.
I suggest we arrange for a heart to heart discussion
with respect to this very serious situation.
I look forward speaking with you.
Yours truly,
Charles
________________________________________________________________________
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New Years resolution
Well, I've not found it easy to blog of recent. Nothing interesting to say.
I have been sticking to my New Years resolution of going pub more often, which has in turn made life a little more interesting in last few weeks. There have been many girls, (stopping of) fights, blood, sweat and tears.
But I haven't felt the need to write about any of the above as I've had a lack of interest in most of the subjects. Including the girls to my surprise.
I'd like to add a special mention to the fantastic efforts and performance of the Chelsea team in the last European game, it was a joy to watch, except the last 15 minutes, which I watched through my fingers.
But something new is upon us, one of the nice folk in work sent an email to 'the lads' for a poker night.
Poker night will be big and starts tomorrow. I will look for a visor before then.
Happy Paddy Day
I should be out drinking, but alas Im sat doing work. And its bloody overtime.
Anywyas, I lost 60p in poker last night. Gambling debts are begining to get out of control.
I think I'll definitely leave work in the next 2 hours. There's Siren's calling me to a near by Pub Garden